Sunday, 25 October 2009

The Nightmare Week

For the past one week, school was as bad as I thought. Nothing went smoothly! Not only my holiday mood isn't over yet, my tiredness is becoming an endless problem, increasing and accumulating non-stop.

On top of that, a series of unfortunate events happened. There were some modules that I couldn't comprehend at all! Like AutoCAD, and heading to the workshop fabricating my product, they never once go easy on me!

I was humiliated but I continued to bear with all these crap. I always tell myself that in order to survive in this society, you got to listen and learn at the same time, but most importantly is to be able to endure first. Having said so, I'm still a human with feelings. I may be tolerating but in fact deep inside me I don't feel good at all, I felt so pathetic and realising that I'm no doubt a very slow learner...

Questioning myself, am I qualified to compete with the others? Am I fit to pursue my dreams? Am I ready for the future?!

Just as I thought, my nightmare isn't over yet. Telling me to introduce myself, speaking in front of the whole class is akin telling me to embarrass myself indirectly! This particular module OC (Oral Communication) is killing me! I can't even speak properly in front of my friends! That's the kind of feeling I would never want it to appear again in my whole damn life! Why can't they just let me have a peaceful school life?

Presentation is my ultimate phobia, but how do I cure it? Whenever it happens, I felt so nervous and started to tremble, then the urge to vomit follows. It totally ruined my mood for the whole day!

During lunch hour, I bought Nasi Lemak takeaway but they gave me chopsticks only! Desperately, I finished it without a spoon...

You see how I end up?

More or less it's my confidence level that's staying pit-low. The moment I overcome this barrier, it will be the time I go all out.



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